Posted by: MOIST | June 22, 2010

Where Eagles Dare?

This is it then. D-Day. Do or die. Win or bust. Stay or go. Stick or twist. Sink or swim. Rock or roll. Fish or chips. Thelma or Louise.

Despire Nigeria being rooted to the bottom of the table it’s all to play for. For Korea it’s quite possibly draw and go through but they have to make sure they don’t lose. Opponents today, Nigeria, look doomed but when it comes down to one game it’s a whole different kettle of ball game fish.  If Korea can avoid defeat, though, it then depends on what Greece do.

As the table below shows the cradles of European and Asian civilization are locked together on 3 points but, and this is a big but, I mean, not Sir Mix-a-Lot big but big nonetheless, Korea have a vital 1 goal advantage in the goals scored column.

Team Played Won Drawn Lost Goals For Goals Against Points
Argentina 2 2 0 0 5 1 6
South Korea 2 1 0 1 3 4 3
Greece 2 1 0 1 2 3 3
Nigeria 2 0 0 2 1 3 0


Quite simply this means that as long as Korea don’t lose and get at least the same result as Greece they go through. In theory Greece have the harder game and shouldn’t be able to beat Argentina although this World Cup has proved that strange things can happen.

Fingers crossed that Argentina turn it on like they did against Korea and we’ll all be able to enjoy a second round game against Uruguay on Saturday. Except for me as I’ll be on a stag do. So, actually, come on Greece. You beat Argentina 2-0 and Korea can beat Nigeria 3-0 and win the group. Everybody’s happy.

But what chance Korea beating Nigeria? Will the Super Eagles rally and give their fans something to cheer about after 2 bad defeats?  As the clock ticks down to the biggest game in South Korean history since 2006 we went out onto the streets of Abuja and Lagos to get the low down on today’s big game and the tactics Nigeria will use to win.

Name: Moses Odiaki

Nigeria’s tactics: My name is Mr.Moses Odiaka. I work in the credit and accounts department of  Union Bank of Nigeria Plc,Lagos, Nigeria. I write you in respect of a foreign customer with a Domicilliary account. His name is Engineer Manfred Becker. He was among those who died in a plane crash here in Nigeria during the reign of late General Sani Abacha.

Key Nigerian player: He had only $18.5mllion in his a/c and the a/c is coded. It is only an insider that could produce the code or password of the deposit particulars. As it stands now,there is nobody in that position to produce the needed information other than my very self considering my position in the bank.

Prediction: I will need your full name and address telephone/fax number,company or residential, also your bank name and account,where the money will be transfer into.

Name: Dr. Ibrahim Martin

Nigeria’s tactics: I work with the Union Bank of Nigeria PLC, currently I am the senior manager of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my bank. I have an urgent and confidential business proposal for you. On June 6, 1998, an Australian oil consultant/contractor with via National Petroleum cooperation (NNPC) Mr. Ali B. Ashraf made a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calenderer month valued at US$51,000,000.00(fifty _one Million  US Dollars) in my branch.

Key Nigerian player: On maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarded address but got no reply after months we send a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employee (Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation) that MR. Ali B. Ashrafdied from an automobile accident. On further investigation, it was clear that he died without making a WILL.

Prediction: All you have to do is to immediately send me the details of a bank account anywhere in the world for me to arrange the proper money transfer document.

Name: John Eze

Nigeria’s tactics: I am Mr John Eze, a native of Kano in Nigeria and I am an Executive Accountant with the Nigeria ministry of mineral resources and energy. I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of a deal described here under for the benefit of all parties and I hope you we keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

Key Nigerian player: Within the department of mining and natural resources where I work as an accountant and with the co-operation of four other top officials we have in our possession an over due payment bills totally twenty million five hundred thousand united state dollars ($50.5m) which we want to transfer abroad with the assistance and co-operation of a foreign company/individual to receive such funds.

Prediction: I have all my confidence and trust in you and I hope you we not disappoint me.

Certainly a lot there for the Korean team to think about, that’s for sure. Putting Nigeria to one side, though, what more motivation do the Red Devils need than the thought that a win today might mean they are the only East Asian team to qualify for the second round? The proverbial two fingers to their hated neighbours over the East Sea.

As author, poet and drunkard, Michael E. Griffin once noted, “After 6 beers I was ready to call a radio phone-in. That’s bascially everyone else’s New Years Eve. You are.” A sentiment surely shared on the streets of Seoul.



  1. Sirs,

    I have an urgent business proposal for your humble considerings. Thank you for your listen. Please wire the sum of US$62,375 into a bank account of your choice and a bond guaranteeing a rate of interests of 19.8% will be dispatched to you.

    Your friend,


  2. I wonder when we will have an opportunity e-mail coming from North Korea.

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