Posted by: MOIST | June 21, 2010

North Korea 0-7 Portugal

EAiSA Prediction: 0-3 loss for North Korea.

It wasn’t quite 1966 and all that, we’d have needed one more goal to match the 5-3 ding-dong back then, but it certainly was a goal fest and, though it seems strange to praise a side who lost by so much, a lot of credit should be given to the Chollima.

Kim Jong-Il’s red and white army didn’t stop running, trying, attacking, tackling and making a game of it for the full 90 minutes despite the collapse that was going on all around them. They never once resorted to kicking out, bad tackling or dirty play even with Ronaldo in full-on tricks mode. After witnessing Brazil and Ivory Coast trying to out cheat each other yesterday it was a pleasure to watch two teams just play football today.

And for so long it looked so good. Playing with a more attacking shape than they did against Brazil, Korea matched Portugal step for step for the first half an hour until the back 5 was dissected by a lovely ball. Even then they kept going and at half-time it was a tight game.

The second half, though, was a little bit different. A second soon after the break led to the third and then the fourth and Korea were down and out. Little errors crept into the game across the backline and Portgual exploited them just like their Imperial forefather exploited natives across the globe.

After the Brazil game EAiSA said that the Juche Boys defensive game plan would be found out against Portugal and the Ivory Coast. We knew that both those teams would be coming into the games knowing what they needed to do and how to do it. We were mocked for this with people claiming Portugal couldn’t score. Well, critics, who’s laughing now, eh?

Admittedly we did also claim Brazil would go out after drawing with the Ivory Coast. But that’s Sven’s fault.

So, Pyongyang’s finest are on their way home but, luckily for them, they didn’t have to hear Mick McCarthy trying to pronounce their names.

Player Match Reports:

Starting XI:

Ri Myong-Guk: Not at fault for any of the goals, which makes a change for keepers in this tournament. The Portguese finishing was so good today the best keeper in the world wouldn’t have stopped them. And he didn’t.

Cha Jong-Hyok: Kept Ronaldo quiet for long periods of the game despite giving himself wrist-knack. Got up and down the flank as often as possible. Played well.

Ri Jun-Il, Ri Kwang-Chon, Pak Chol-Jin: The three of them were a unit again just like against Brazil. Kept fighting for the 90 minutes but mistakes began to creep in as the goals went in. A few bad mistakes ended up in the back of the net but it’s hard to give them too much grief considering.

Ji Yun-Nam: No goal today but a solid perfomance down the wing.

Pak Nam-Chol: Was busy in midfield and got forward as much as possible to support the attack.

Mun In-Guk: Worked his socks off in midfield until he subbed.

Ahn Young-Hak: Sat in front of the back four like he did against Brazil. Caught between trying to push forward and defend as the game wore on.

Hong Yong-Jo: Was very lively in behind Jong and worked relentlessly getting forward. Certainly performed better than against Brazil.

Jong Tae-Se: Another tireless perfomance from the People’s Wayne. Kawasaki Frontale may struggle to hold onto him after this World Cup. Good.


Kim Kum-Il and  Kim Yong-Jin (58mins for Pak Nam-Chol and Mun In-Guk): Both got horribly exposed in midfield as Portugal hit them hard on the counter attack.

Nam Song-Chol (75mins Cha Jong-Hyok): Slotted in at left back after the impressive right back had been withdrawn


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