Posted by: MOIST | June 16, 2010

A Little Bit of Argy-bargy

With the first round of games in Group B over, South Korea sit proudly atop the group but next up is the big one, Argentina. Favourites to win the group, despite the madcap antics of Maradona, they also started with a win although perhaps not in the style they wished.

A win for Korea would surely be enough to see them into the second round whilst a point would leave them a draw with Nigeria away from qualification. But is it possible for the Red Devils to avenge the Mexico 1986 groups stages 3-1 defeat against a star studded team full of world and European pedigree?

EAiSA has criss-crossed the globe to get the answers to a host of important questions. What are Argentina’s weaknesses? Who are the men to target? How do you force them into mistakes? Just how hot was Gabriella Sabatini?

Who better to tell us than some world stars who’ve got the upper hand over their Argentine opponents in the past.

Nikolay Davydenko: Defeated Argentine tennis player Juan Martin Del Potro in the London ATP Masters and has scored 49 goals in 237 appearances for Torpedo Moscow.

How to beat Argentina: I tell you Russians and Koreans we are very similar people. They have soju, we have vodka. They have unusual written language, we have vodka. They have a tricky right winger, we have vodka…and a beautiful cross-court forehand. They have stamina, teamwork, determination, we wish we still had communism. We are very similar.

Player to target: Martin Dimichelis. He is slow like Siberian bear drunk on vodka. Park Chu-Young is tricky and swift like Arctic fox seeking vodka for her young. He will cause problems.

Prediction: 1-1. Lionel Messi is the new Oleg Blokhin, he is unstoppable, so I think he will score but Korea will get a deserved draw.

Rene Barrientos: Bolivian President who had Argentine guerilla Che Guevara shot and was capped 112 times for his country.

How to beat Argentina: Argentines are wild, like animals. They are cunning and they cause trouble. They come to my country and provoke unrest. You must taunt them and anger them and they will react like the beasts they are. Guevara comes to my country like Maradona goes to South Africa. He must be unsettled and he will make mistakes.

Player to target: With no Veron in the team then much pressure falls on Mascherano. But he is impetuous like the llama. If Kim Jung-Woo is strong and cunning then Mascherano will spit like a beast and head for an early bath.

Prediction: 2-1 to Argentina. They have much talent and skill but they do not like altitude like the feeble men they are. Korea must be strong to win but, perhaps, Messi and Higuain are new Conquistadores.

Margaret Thatcher: Winner of the 1982 Falklands War versus Argentina and made 256 appearance in midfield for Don Revie’s Leeds.

How to beat Argentina: There is only one way to beat Argentina and that is attack, attack, attack. The Korean task force must be strong in the face of oppression, her defence solid in the belief of her own sovereignty. The Argentina defence has no speed, no movement, no full backs and anything goes off the ball if the referee isn’t looking, they don’t like it up ’em.

Player to target: Attack the flanks and get in behind them. Gutierrez and DiMaria are not full-backs so they need to exploit the gaps behind them

Prediction: 1-0 South Korea. Much like 1982 I expect a decisive British, I mean, Korean military, I mean, football victory.

So, a real mixed bag from our very knowledgeable pundits. Can Huh learn a little from their pearls of wisdom and lead his team to a stunning win or will Maradona prove his critics wrong and triumph? The tension, as famous educator Michael E. Griffin said, is palpable.



  1. It seems that none of your consultants gave a good advice on how to beat Argentina. However I must agree with Davydenko: Martin Demichelis behaved just like a Siberian bear drunk on vodka when he helped Lee Chung Yong to score.

    He was also right on Park Cho-Young, only that he did cause a problem to his own team.

    Best wishes, hope S. Korea will classify for the next round!

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