Posted by: MOIST | June 12, 2010

Beware of Greeks?

Ranked 13th in the world but still full of unknowns outside of their homeland, it’s hard to know what to expect from the Greeks in today’s big match. Therefore, in the interests of enlightenment EAiSA has worked its fingers to the bone to get you the information you need to pass yourself off as a big shot Hellas know it all. In a series of interviews that have shocked media-land the dirt has been dished by some of your favourite Greek celebrities.

So if you don’t know your Tzvoras’ from your Patsatzoglous or your Vyntras from your elbow then read on and consider yourself informed.

Peter Andre: Pop star, TV personality and former left back for Olympiakos.

Inside information: The thing about Greece is they love to play on the counter. They’ll string five along the back to nullify the Korean attack and then use their wide forwards to pull the Korean back four out of shape. Greece always plays the same way, there’s nothing mysterious about this girl!

Player to watch: Definitely Torosidis, the left wing back, he reminds me of a young me. Pace, power and sweet, sweet abs.

Prediction: 2-1, Charisteas at the double but a late Korean goal will make for a nervy finish.

Melina Kanakaredes: CSI: New York’s Stella and former assistant manager of AEK Athens.

Inside information: Greece had a real mixed bag in the qualifiers. Almost unbeatable at home but very poor on the road. What worries me is that the players won’t be able to adapt to the conditions in South Africa. As a CSI technician I know the importance of evidence and, to me, our away form is evidence of trouble ahead.

Player to watch: Kyrgiakos has to be solid at the back. If he can’t keep Park Chu-Young quiet we’re in trouble.

Prediction: 0-0, a bore draw.

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh: Royal, bigot, huntsman and top scorer for Greece in the 1950 World Cup.

Inside information: Seems fairly clear to me they’ll beat the little slanty-eyed fellows. Those orientals don’t have a full field of vision. Wait, do I have to go to China for this? I bloody better well not have to.

Player to watch: The funny looking little one, what’s his name?

Predicition: 4-3 after 6 chukkas.

So there you have it. All you have to do is head to the game with this information and you’re bound to impress your friends!



  1. Hang on. Philip the Greek didn’t really play in the 1950 tourney, did he? I thought he made the squad but didn’t get any pitch minutes? Great research on the other two though.

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